Art by Mark Morse
Mu Chou asked a monk, “Where have you just come from?”
The monk immediately shouted.
Mu Chou said, “I’ve been shouted at by you once.”
Again the monk shouted.
Mu Chou said, “After three or four shouts, then what?”
The monk had nothing to say.
Mu Chou then hit him and said, “What a thieving phony you are!”
Notes
Mu Chou is the disciple and attendant of Huangbo. He was the one who goaded Linchi to meet with Master Huangbo. He asked Linchi, “How long have you been in the monastery?”
Linchi said, “I’ve been here for three years.”
“And how often do you meet with master Huangbo,” asked Mu Chou.
“I haven’t met him even once.”
“What,” said Mu Chou, “Why not?
“I’m afraid to. I hear he’s rough with his students. He shouts at them and he beats them with his stick.”
“Don’t worry about that,” said Mu Chou. “Huangbo is the Master here and you’ve got to get to him. I know, I’m his personal attendant. Without meeting with Huangbo you’ll never realize anything. I’ll tell you what, you go to Huangbo and ask him to tell you what the great matter is.”
“The great matter?”
“Yes, that’s it, ask him about the great matter.”
So next time Huangbo allowed students to come to him in what we here call daisan, Linchi went. He entered the room, made his bows and asked Huangbo about the great matter and Huangbo hit him with his stick. So Linchi returned to Mu Chou and told him what happened. Linchi was encouraged once again to go to Huangbo. He did and again was hit. Mu Chou encouraged Linchi again and again he went to Huangbo and again asked his question and again was hit. So Linchi told Mu Chou that he’s had it and was going to leave the monastery and go somewhere where they know how to deal with students. To finish the story, eventually Linchi did attain realization and understood why Huangbo kept hitting him. And when you, my little kiddies, get to this koan we’ll see if you understand why Linchi was always getting hit and we’ll see if you can escape the stick.
Mu Chou was also the one who had the great future Zen Master Yunmen as his student. When Yunmen wanted to enter Mu Chou’s room, Mu Chou wouldn’t let him. Yunmen kept trying, finally jamming his leg as Mu Chou slammed the door. And Mu Chou’s slam was so forceful that he broke Yunmen’s leg. And they say that with that slam Yunmen was enlightened. Enlightened, but crippled for the rest of his life.
So you can see that Mu Chou was quite severe, had a weird sense of humor, and quite eccentric. It is said that he could tell the state of a student’s mind by the student’s footsteps. Like I can tell who’s coming upstairs by their pace. Especially Peter Harris, who leaps up the steps two and three at a time. I know because I am jealous of his agility and energy.
Anyhow, Mu Chou wasn’t just a boor and a loud nut. When his mother became ill he left the monastery and returned home to take care of her. And he lived with her and supported her by making sandals. He placed the sandals he made on top of the city gate to advertise them and hopefully sell them.
Then one day there was an invasion of the city. The invading forces reached the gates of the city. The leader of the forces saw a pair of sandals on the city gate and went to get them for himself. But they remained firm, stuck like the sword Excalibur. The leader turned to his troops frozen with fear. He told them a holy man must be living here and the soldiers did not attack and fled the city in fear.
So let’s get back to our koan.
Reflections
I don’t know about you this koan really speaks to me.
I remember I was once invited to give daisan at the monastery of a colleague of mine. Most of his students were working on either Mu or the sound of one hand. Each of his students entered the daisan room. And one after the other made make a fist or shouted something like Mu at the top of their lungs. One student dramatically slapped her hands. Another got up and kicked the air. And so forth. I rejected every one of them. Finally, one student sad to me, “But the teacher here already passed me on this koan.” And so I told him, “Well then I can’t pass your teacher.”
Each of the students was playing Zen. Doing the Zen thing. The zen shout. The zen gesture. The zen this and the zen that. All of it zen crap! As an aside it may interested you to know that I have never again been invited to give daisan at that monastery.
As you can see from our koan I think that’s what was going on. As you may know this was the time when there was a lot of shouting and hitting with sticks, as you saw in the story of Huangbo and Linchi. Linchi went on to became a very famous zen master and invented the famous zen shout which is usually translated or expressed as Kwatz! But soon, everybody was going around Kwatzing here and Kwatzing there. Everybody was trying to see who could outKwatz the other. It got to just a point that poor old Linchi realized he’d created a Frankenstein’s monster with his Kwatz. All a student had to do was shout Kwatz and she thought she got it. That’s what my colleague’s students were doing. Thieving phonies all! And that’s what the monk is doing in this koan. Nothing but a rotten thieving phony.
Mu Chou asked a monk, “Where have you just come from?”
The monk immediately shouted.
Mu Chou said, “I’ve been shouted at by you once.”
Again the monk shouted.
Mu Chou said, “After three or four shouts, then what?”
The monk had nothing to say.
Mu Chou then hit him and said, “What a thieving phony you are!”
