A reflection by Treetopper Andy Hinson:

Those of us who sit at Treetop Zen Center thought it would be good to share some of our stories here on the TZC blog. So here’s mine.

I first went to visit Treetop, believe it or not, after I came across a scrap of a newspaper article about the Center while I was working in my compost pile one July afternoon. At the time, I had been meditating on my own for a while, and that summer I had started feeling like I wanted to sit with a group, to get input from other people who were doing it, maybe find out what it was like to work with a teacher. So when that shred of newspaper about this zendo that was not too far from home found itself in my hand, it seemed like I needed to check it out.

When I got there, I found a small, comfortable renovated loft above the garage of a modest log home. As I walked up the stairs and into the zendo, the ceiling fan was spinning slowly and 8 or 10 people sat quietly, getting settled on the mats and cushions lining the perimeter of the room. I remember feeling uncertainty and apprehension, not knowing what would be expected of me. What was I getting myself into?

It turns out that all the expectations were my own. All the uncertainty, of my own making. From the moment I sat down, I felt welcomed and accepted. Yes, there were chants I didn’t understand, things that seemed confusing. But that didn’t seem to matter. It didn’t matter why I was there (as if I knew,) what I wore, what I said or didn’t say, how “well” I sat. None of it mattered. Being there, offering my energy, was all that mattered.

I had never been involved with any church or Buddhist group, and in a way it felt strange to me that it was so natural and comfortable meditating with people I didn’t know. But I’ve learned that that’s what happens at Treetop. There’s something about the place that is very special to me. And even though I came to it with a lot of uncertainty about my practice and whether I wanted to “join” a group, I knew it was the place I wanted to be the first time I walked through the door.

Now, almost 5 years later, it’s difficult to communicate how being at Treetop and practicing with the people there has affected my life. Even putting it in those terms, separating the practice and the sangha from “my life,” feels wrong. There is no separation. That’s one of the incredible gifts that has arisen for me: My life has grown into something more than just what I think it is. Or, perhaps, I’ve begun to realize that it’s never really been the self-defined reality I always believed it to be. And as I continue to practice, being able to go sit at Treetop and share my practice with the people there has changed many things for me.

It’s not always easy for me to get to Treetop. I have two teenage sons, my wife and I work busy schedules, and there’s always something going on. Some nights I drive to the zendo to sit and my energy is scattered and confused. Some nights it’s calm and focused. Sometimes I don’t have a clue where I’m at. But whatever it is, there’s something wonderful about being there, whether there’s ease and calm, or sadness, fear, and doubt. As I sit, they all come and go, and I can begin to open to accepting them for just what they are.

Sometimes we work with koans at Treetop, sometimes we practice with our breath. Everyone’s practice is unique, and I’ve experienced a beautiful atmosphere of support and commitment at Treetop that honors all of us. We’re incredibly fortunate to have two amazing teachers who work with us as we move through our own individual paths of practice, stumbling our way along together and alone, one breath at a time.

Thank you, everybody. It’s a joy to share the journey with you.